It's been quite a while since I wrote last, I apologize. There has been a lot that has happened since my last post, allow me to catch you up on these last few months.
We found there were issues with both my husband and I fertility-wise. Hubby has been working to holistically improve his side of things, and I'm proud of him for it. We even went to a holistic treatment session, where we visited with a doctor about possible internal energies that might be messed up or running poorly or too strongly, which was very helpful and insightful.
In July, I underwent surgery to remove a uterine septum in my uterus, a large growth descending from the roof of the uterus, taking up space, and giving me a high probability of a miscarriage if I fell pregnant. This had me feeling a newfound luckiness that I hadn't fallen pregnant, only to experience the tragedy of a miscarriage, even if not being pregnant yet was discouraging.
The surgery was a complete success, and I recovered quickly. I was told upon a post-op check-up that I wouldn't have to have it redone, thank goodness! Being my first surgery, you can imagine how nervous I was! Prior to the surgery, I debated whether or not I was brave enough to undergo treatment in the pre-op room, and went a little crazy, terrified about what might happen. I even thought for a second that perhaps this was a sign I was meant to adopt, and refused to go any further. But the shrill and beautiful cry of a brand new baby down the hall ( and a prayer session in the hospital bathroom with my mother) was the push I needed to go ahead, and I'm glad I did, because here's what happened on Monday:
I started fertility treatments. Yes, the dreaded treatments, but at least I got my OBGYN on my side. My RE really pushed the envelope to have me do all sorts of medically invasive procedures and shots, including IVF and IUI. Feeling in my heart that it might not yet be necessary, that I believed my husband's side of things had improved greatly, and learning that it is best to go with least invasive first, I requested we start with oral medication as opposed to shots. She, wanting to keep her perfect rating of successful pregnancies, refused. So I called my OB, and he agreed to three months of Clomid treatment, which would hopefully jump-start my ovaries into finally ovulating, giving us a fair chance at pregnancy.
Upon reading the side effects, I dearly wished I didn't have to take it. Not only could the drug work against our efforts (it can thin the lining in the uterus, making it less fertile, and diminish the cervical fluid, needed to transport sperm) but the side effects included ovarian cysts (when tissue surrounding an egg fills up with fluid into a painful blister of sorts that can be dangerous) and blurred vision, were scary and not anything I really wanted to even risk getting.
So far, the medication appears to be affecting me, with mild cramping in the ovaries, but thankfully, not much more than that. The real test will start from this Saturday through the end of next week, as the cysts only occur during that ovulation period. Prayers would be appreciated!
At least my motherly yearning have been satisfied momentarily. Last month, we adopted an adorable apricot-colored labradoodle named Rayne. She is our fuzzy baby, and I love her so much. She is my little shadow, and we love to snuggle, play fetch and be outside together. That little face brings me so much joy, and knowing how much she unconditionally loves me is beautiful to the point that it brings me to tears. As if I don't have enough mood swings!
This month is the first of three opportunities for us to, in the most comfortable way, bring a child into our world. Our fingers, toes, arms and legs are crossed, and we pray for a little miracle to join our family of three. Here's hoping!
