Not sure where I'll end up, but I promise in this blog, I will always do my best to stay positive and keep the faith and hope that I will be a mom alive in me.
A little backstory...
It was October of 2011, and my dear sweet husband and I had been married for 3 months, when we tossed out the contraceptives. I had been on the for almost 10 years, and boy, was I done with taking them!
I know, three months of marriage doesn't seem like a very long time for it to be "just us". My husband, for the record, is in his early 30's and 7 years my senior, so when I asked if he was ready for children, it didn't take him long to decide it was a good time.
We weren't trying for a child for those first few months, per se. More along the attitude of "Look ma, no condoms!" (although we'd never actually utter such words to our mothers), that almost juvenille, thrilling freedom of enjoying relaxed, married intimacy without the hassle of remembering a pill or other protection. And if a child resulted? We'd be thrilled and in the position to welcome one into our lives (we had bought our house, which we call "The Nest") by this point, so room was not an issue).
Well November came, with our first married Thanksgiving and a very exhausting day of moving all our stuff to our first real home. December brought us our first blissful Christmas as husband and wife, and the chance for us to celebrate together (T was off both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day). January arrived bearing both snow and freakishly warm weather, which we promptly enjoyed the latter outdoors walking around the block, and the former inside cozy on the couch watching the snow fall on our beautiful backyard view of a sprawling cornfield (yes, we were in Nebraska. Or as hubby calls it "my damn state" every time he gets cold and misses his native North Carolina :-) )
The only thing that didn't come was my menstrual cycle. There were cramps resemblant of ovulation and PMS. But nothing more. Something was not right.
January 25th, my husband and I received the news that I most likely had PCOS. My heart fell, even with my wonderful OB, Dr. C. reassuring me in his quiet, gentle voice that I wasn't to worry, "I'd be pregnant soon". Suddenly, the erratic results I had been getting from all the fertility tracking methods I'd painstakingly recorded over the past few months made sense. Basal body temping, OPKs (ovulation prediction kits) cervical fluid (I'll spare you those details) none of them would be able to help me reliably, all because of cursed PCOS.
An ultrasound revealed that I did have cysts, and blood work, translated into layman's terms, stated that my insulin was low, and my sugar was high, otherwise known as insulin intolerance. Low insulin is a common precursor to PCOS, but thankfully, I was told that if I took Metformin faithfully, lost weight, and stuck to a low-carb/low sugar diet, I could help control this very unpleasant, ugly condition.
A month has flown by, and I have shed ten pounds. I was so determined to keep my carbs and sugar low that I nearly developed hypoglycemia (low blood sugar!) and even when I ate the maximum carbs allowed by my dietician, I felt like a sugar-starved zombie. Dr. C. reduced my Metformin (he was very pleased with my recent blood work, revealing that my insulin level was much better).
Two new flaming hoops popped up: my progesterone level was low (I still wasn't ovulating) and my thyroid was on the verge of becoming hypoactive. My doctor referred me to an endocrinologist, and I in turn, scheduled an appointment to see her as soon as I possibly could.
I hate myself for scheduling another appointment during work (latest appointment I could get at 2:00 still means I have to be there 15 minutes early since I'm new, and 30 minutes more just to get the heck over there.) I am fearing that my boss isn't going to let me go, or worse, fire me, since I've already missed two hours of work this year alone for doctor's appointments. It's still a completely necessary appointment, baby hopes aside (it's not healthy to have an under-active thyroid) but I still feel awful.
It's super late, and I have work in the morning, so I guess I'm signing off for now. More later...
No comments:
Post a Comment